Time travelling through photos

I was born late in my family’s story, and I always feel like I missed the party.

There are twenty years between me and my oldest sibling, with two others in between. My dad was in his 40s when I was born. My mother was 39, and she died when I was five.

This describes my immediate family, but the extended family is the one where I really feel I missed something special. My mother and father both came from large families, and our farm was the gathering place for everyone, especially summer visitors.

I’ve started sorting and scanning a large trove of family photos going back through the 20th century. I feel lucky to have so much history in my hands. I’ve been scanning the photos this winter. That isn’t a hard job in itself. I often have to look deeply at the photos because many aren’t labelled with names or dates! I have to look for clues to figure out who is in the picture and what year (or decade) it might belong to.

Looking deeply is challenging. I fall into the scene, imagining the sounds, the smells, the temperature, the larger gathering. What was it like to have so many relatives gathered? What stories were told that no one remembers? Did the kids run around together? What food was served?

Sometimes I emerge from these photos feeling like I’ve time travelled. I only wish I could.

Am I romanticising the past? Absolutely. Life wasn’t easy on the farm. My mother lived with her in-laws for her whole marriage. My grandfather was known to be a strong personality.

There is a sense of layering on to my identity when I examine these photos. Who am I in relation to this lost world? How would I be different if I’d experienced this larger family? I know that I’ve been shaped by the sliver of experience I had with this world on the farm. The older I get, the more I realize the impact it had on me.

Recommendations

I’ve been listening to the book Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World by Anne-Laure Le Cunff. It’s a nice compliment to Atomic Habits. The concept of making a pact with yourself sticks with me. Rather than saying, “my new habit is to walk 20 minutes every morning” you can experiment by making a pact: “I’m going to try walking 20 minutes every morning for the month of April.” I like the idea of using tiny pilot projects to try new things.

Reminder

I’m hosting a one-day retreat in Calgary on April 25. As I write this I only have a few spots left. We’ll do a guided exercise around reflection, identity, and what comes next for you, along with other activities and conversations. I know that our time together will re-ignite a spark of inspiration. See all the details and register here.

Coaching Work

I specialize in coaching that helps you look beneath the surface, identify what’s really going on, and move forward from that understanding. I offer one-time sessions for a quick hit of coaching, or multi-session packages that are customized just for you.

The only requirement I have is that my clients have a growth-mindset - titles and roles aren’t important.

People work with me because they want to:

• Make a change but don’t know where to start.
• Get clarity about a decision or challenge.
• Understand where and why they’re stuck — and figure out how to move forward.
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• Gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their identity.
• Work through tangled thoughts and ideas.

If you’d like to find out more, book a free discovery meeting to see if it’s a fit for you.