Your identity shapes how you show up in the world

My identity changed and I was the last to know.

I have someone helping me with my website and content marketing. A couple of months ago, they asked me if I wanted to put my newsletter on my business LinkedIn page. I quickly answered no. Curious, they asked me why.

I gave a rambling answer about my audience being different with my newsletter and with LinkedIn. They pressed me further: I have a really large network on LinkedIn, why wouldn’t I want to promote my coaching business there?

That simple question uncovered something that I felt I had to explore, so I booked a session with a coach. I was puzzled by my own reluctance to share my writing on LinkedIn, and I hoped that being coached would help me get to the bottom of it.

That session helped me discover that the identity I was keeping alive on LinkedIn is one that I’ve left behind. I used to think that I had to stay within a very rigid definition of “professional” if I was going to work with corporate clients. I had to talk about the outcomes of our coaching sessions – better leadership skills, improved time management, etc – in order to be seen as a valuable resource.

Now, I’ve fully embraced the deeper currents below the surface. I don’t want to simply check a box. I want to help my clients experience real change and growth. I’m interested in getting to the “why”.

For a long time, I’ve known that focusing on self-awareness is the only path that leads to true growth, both personal and professional. I’ve seen the impact it has on my clients. But I felt that some people might see it as too soft or woo-woo. I could talk about it with the small audience of my newsletter, but not the larger network of LinkedIn.

My coach used the analogy of an ill-fitting sweater. The sweater I used to wear is quite formal; I could wear it with dress pants to a board meeting. It has shiny buttons and structured shoulders. It’s very nice, but it just doesn’t feel comfortable anymore.

The sweater I wear now is casual. It’s a bright colour and it goes well with jeans or with dressier pants. Other people compliment it and ask me where I got it. It’s a garment that feels like the perfect fit.

I don’t know if this makes any sense. The bottom line is: my identity has changed and I think I’m the last one to know. I’m contemplating how it changes the ways I show up in the world. Stay tuned for more.